I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
