wake up i wanna do it froggy style
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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