My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
