3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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