her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Randomize
