Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(209): View more from California

i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you

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(864): View more from South Carolina

u downloaded tardy 4 the party

(864): View more from South Carolina

then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record

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(440): View more from Ohio

woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.

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(318): View more from Louisiana

I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.

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(904): View more from Florida

Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.

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(619): View more from California

My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good

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