well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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