do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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