I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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