**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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