No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
