The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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