I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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