just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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