can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
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I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
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Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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