great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
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I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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