Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
