I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
