Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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