So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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