JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
