ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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