I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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