We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
