someone threw a dead crab at me
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
