I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
