Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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