Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
