Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
