I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
