i think my tv is drunk
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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