I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize