so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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