I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
lets start a swedish sibling band together
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
