yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
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She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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