you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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