Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
