the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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