She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
