I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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