I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
