all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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