there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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