He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
