im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
