Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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