He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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