Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
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