More tranny stories later!
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
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