thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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