I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize