one might say we're banned from that church
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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