Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
