Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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