so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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