So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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