before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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