Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer

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(248): View more from Michigan

Pussy?

(586): View more from Michigan

how

(248): View more from Michigan

Wat do u mean how?

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(509): View more from Washington

you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin

(509): View more from Washington

and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"

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(201): View more from New Jersey

she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart

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(303): View more from Colorado

I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.

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(815): View more from Illinois

She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.

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(586): View more from Michigan

She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.

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