Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
