Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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