I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
