I saw his package. It spoke to me.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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