That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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