So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
