he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
