The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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