Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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