I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You dont lie about slip and slides
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
