he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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